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Friday, February 24, 2017

Santa Banta Jokes

Bank manager asks Santa in an interview: "What is cyclone"
Santa: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

Interviewer: What is a skeleton?

Santa: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting,
but forgot to stop it!!

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Santa: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya

Doctor: I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English
Santa: My londa gironda from Hero Honda !!!


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Santa was drawing money from ATM. 


A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks
Santa replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."


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Salesman: Sir, do you want this powder ?

Santa: For what ?
Salesman: For ants
Santa: No. If I give powder today, they will ask lipstick tomorrow!!


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The most dangerous joke till date:

Banta: How the word 'Wife' was invented?
Santa: They took the first two and last two letters of 'Wildlife'!


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 santa - Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper - Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai.

Santa - Ullu matt banao isme likha hai "Cholesterol Free" 


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Santa - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Banta - I can eat 6 apples.
Santa - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that's not an empty stomach!
Banta: Wow superb joke. I'll tell my friend..
Bant to Rahul - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?
Rahul - I can eat 10.
Banta - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!! 


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Santa calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.

Santa- When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?
Help Desk - Dear Santa, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.
Santa - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Help Desk - !!!!!


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Santa vs Banta. Question to both in a competition.

What is half of 8?
Santa: 4
Banta: Depend karta hai .... agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''
Santa still unconscious...!!!


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Santa: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?

Santa Dad: Income Tax Returns.
Santa: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
Santa Dad: Jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe ja!!!


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100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...

Referee - '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Santa.
Referee - Y r u not running...?
Santa - My number is 4.


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SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai....
Santa: Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye....

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 Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied...

French : I think I dont smoke (died).
American : I think I love my wife (died).
Santa: I think.. (died)


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Santa and Banta are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.

Santa - What should we do now?
Banta- We'll take 50:50.
Santa- What about the remaining 900?


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Santa: Let's go for movie. 

Banta: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
Santa: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.


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Santa reading newspaper..

News: "Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"
Santa comments: Idiot !! Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!


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Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua?

Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!


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Santa ke lips jale hue the

Banta:/ Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway station drop krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya!!!.....


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Santa : U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Santa: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio!


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